M. Butterfly Ending Reflection

Gallimard’s performative suicide is one of the best possible endings for M. Butterfly, by David Henry Hwang, despite not being the most cheerful or positive. In a quick recap of the end of the text, Gallimard is back in the prison cell, talking about his misconcepted view of the Eastern world. While doing so, he puts on the Butterfly costume, discusses his love for Song, and then kills himself like the original Butterfly.

I thought the ending was fitting (even though some may complain that it wasn’t a “feel-good” ending)  because the purpose of Hwang’s work was to demonstrate the West’s skewed representation of the East. Through Gallimard’s suicide, we see how Western culture is stubborn and unwilling to accept the truth about the East even when confronted with the truth. We see the West’s opinions of the East in Gallimard’s words, when he says, “There is a vision of the orient that I have. Of slender women in cheongsams and kimonos who die for the love of unworthy foreign devils. Who are born and raised to be the perfect women” (863). Obviously at the time, Gallimard, and consequently the West, had strange standards and opinions of Asian women.

When Gallimard reveals that he knew about Song’s true identity, but continues to deny reality and reside in his fantasy instead, he shows the West’s inflexible stereotypes. In this sense, I thought that by showing Gallimard’s stubbornness, Hwang was implying how the West know that their assumptions are racist yet continue to believe in them.

Through Gallimard’s misconceptions and thoughts, Hwang establishes a basis for the racist Western world that allows the reader to prepare themselves for the ultimate message. Gallimard, unable to relinquish his love, begins to dress up as the butterfly so that he can pursue his fantasy by himself. In order to experience the beautiful sacrifice and the original purity of Madame Butterfly’s sacrifice, he plans on re-enacting the scene using himself as the sacrifice. In this twisted way, Gallimard his keeping his ideals of the East alive by killing himself.

At the very end, when Song looks down on Gallimard’s dead body, the sexism and racism that Gallimard so strongly believed in was the cause of his downfall as the roles were reversed. As an Asian, I was a bit disappointed by the ending because although the West was ultimately defeated because of their racist misconceptions of the East, they were unable to reconcile these stereotypes, even until death.

Notes from the Underground: Thoughts

I understood from the first few pages of Fyodor Dostoevsky’s Notes from the Underground that it was not a normal book, nor was it a particularly happy or easy to read book. The opening lines of these notes begin with, “I am a sick man... I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man” (3). Contrary to other pieces of literature where the narrator or the main character has at least one redeeming feature, allowing the reader to sympathize or “root for” the hero, the author of the diary begins by insulting himself. He claims he was a “spiteful official” in his youth and that he “was rude and took pleasure in being so”. Here was a man that loved being mean. Interesting, but not enough to think about for more than a brief moment (there are plenty of people who love to be mean).

What really struck me as odd was the next page, when the narrator admits, “...continually, even in the moment of the acutest spleen, I was inwardly conscious with shame that I was not only not a spiteful but not even an embittered man, that I was simply scaring sparrows at random and amusing myself by it” (4). He claims that he was lying about being spiteful out of spite, but that he isn’t sorry about lying. What kind of narrator lies to his reader, then directly tells them that he doesn’t care about their opinions? Personally, I like this fourth wall breaking narrative, as all these small disruptions make it easier and more interesting to listen to the narrator’s thoughts.

Another point that I found interesting was the author’s use of contradictory statements. Besides the initial lie in the opening pages, he also talks about how living “longer than forty years is bad manners, is vulgar, immoral” (5) and that those who lie beyond 40 are fools. He then says that he will live to 80, and that his intelligence is unparalleled. It’s these odd, contradictory statements that make his writing interesting, as you have to think about whether what he says is intelligent or the ravings of a madman.

In chapter three, the man moves on to talking about how he cannot act on anything, which is the reason why he is stuck in the underground. Surely this can’t be true, seeing as how the man is writing this confession/diary and talking about himself (allegedly the greatest pleasure one can have?).

“But it is just in that cold, abominable half despair, half belief, in that conscious burying oneself alive for grief in the underworld for forty years, in that acutely recognised and yet partly doubtful hopelessness of one’s position, in that hell of unsatisfied desires turned inward, in that fever of 15 oscillations, of resolutions determined for ever and repented of again a minute later—that the savour of that strange enjoyment of which I have spoken lies.” (14-15).

The reason that he cannot act on anything is because he tends to think about the situation and his actions again and again, finding flaws with every possible action. Although other people think him stupid because of his inactivity, he knows that he is the intelligent one because taking an action would lead to the true foolish conclusion. His logic made me wonder that surely by not taking an action, he is choosing to take an action. Either way, there can be no ideal option for the narrator.

In these first twenty pages, it’s interesting to see how this man thinks: sporadically, in parables and paradoxes, and with cynical comedy. His musings also helped me realize a bit more about how and what I think about existentialism: getting too caught up in the ravings of an existentialist will only lead to a confused mind and a strangely empty conclusion.

Chapter 5

Stephen is finally a bit older and, as they say, with age comes wisdom, right? My answer is no. In Stephen's case, with age comes an even higher level of pretentiousness and melodrama. However, he has always been different and a bit special, so his actions in this chapter were not completely surprising.

The interactions between Stephen and other people are some of the best ways to notice how his thoughts have changed and how he views others and the world in which they live together. Several of these interactions are scattered throughout the chapter, helping us see into the mind of our main character.

For example, one important moment is the encounter and conversation between Stephen and the dean of studies. A particular moment in their (very awkward) conversation is when Stephen uses the word "tundish", an Irish word, and the dean is unable to understand it. This moment highlights the separation between Irish and English culture, and Stephen recognizes the difference immediately. He sadly thinks about how his experience in university is dull and believes that other people are slow and foolish.

Stephens interactions with his family also show that he has become even more estranged from them. His mother and father are disappointed with his actions and labels him as a failure, both religiously and academically.

In this way, we see that Stephen's highly intelligent, but also pretentious, nature separates him from his peers and school members, while his decisions separate him from his parents. However, at the end of the book, when he sees himself in the birds who are wandering in the sky freely, his separation from others shows his own independence and ability to leave his previous life. It is with this freedom that Stephen is able to make the decision to leave his country to seek a new life and higher enlightenment.

Chapter 4

Does change necessarily imply improvement? How does one walk only by looking straight down? What exactly does fermented urine smell like, and is there any scent worse than it? These are some of the many questions that went on through my head as I read this chapter, arguably the most interesting installment in Stephen's life.

So where do we start? First off, let's recall what occurred at the end of the last chapter (let us also notice that the most pivotal moment of each chapter is at the end): Stephen was so guilty and traumatized by the sermons about the torments of hell that he confessed his sins and vowed to turn his life around. We now see in this chapter the exact means that he will use to "turn his life around".

Stephen devotes his life completely to religious pursuits, praying constantly and forcibly restraining his own senses to resist temptation. The manner in which he goes about doing this was by far the highlight of the chapter, if not the book, for me. Some of his attempts to avoid worldly temptations included looking straight at the ground to prevent wandering eyes, not drying his face after washing it, and smelling urine that has been left outside for a while. This entire process, while very comical for those reading the chapter, demonstrates an incredible amount of sincerity and self-discipline in Stephen. We can immediately tell from these details that he is dedicated to this lifestyle and earnestly trying his best.

However, the narrative of the text also changes in this chapter. There is noticeably less detail and everything becomes more... boring. As Stephen dulls his senses to the outside world, we are also dulled to the happenings of this chapter. The previous life and intellectual curiosity that is seen in Stephen dies, and it makes the reader feel dreary as the chapter becomes monotonous.

Thankfully, this all changes (once again) at the end of the chapter. After being invited to live a life as a priest, Stephen carefully considers his future and judges whether he would be happy in the priesthood. However, the thought of eternal boredom makes him uncomfortable and he seeks an escape. Through a bit more wandering and searching, his encounter with a girl standing in the landscape shocks his senses open again. I can only imagine this encounter being even greater than before because of his previous attempts to mortify his senses. Although he did not achieve his original goal in attaining enlightenment through religious zealousness, his efforts allowed the contrast between the pure joys of life and the monotony of forced behavior to shine. In this way, it seems that Stephen finally found his own form of enlightenment at the end of ths chapter..

Chapter 3

Every chapter in this novel makes you wonder where Stephen, our protagonist, is going to head towards next in his journey to discover his identity in the world. In this chapter, he approaches one of the more interesting and controversial aspects of life—religion and more specifically, sin.

Near the end of the last chapter, Stephen meets a prostitute and sleeps with her. Although it was his first experience of this sort, we see that this experience will quickly lead him to other worldly desires. Stephen is deeply fascinated with using his money to purchase happiness through food and physical pleasure. Despite his blatant indulgence in sinful activity, Stephen cannot avoid his connection with the church either. In fact, he initially seems to blend his two ways of living together.

For example, Stephen consistently confuses his spiritual life with his indulgent life. He has a strange devotion and attraction to the Virgin Mary, but also finds himself back with prostitutes every night. In both cases, the two different kinds of women allow him to find peace in an outside activity. This way, Stephen mixes sin and spirituality, unable to get a clear grasp on either.

However, this all changes when we get to the meaty part of the chapter: the sermon. Father Arnall's vividly descriptive sermon of the torments of hell and the consequences of sin obviously shock our young protagonist. It is at this point that Stephen seems to get a true understanding of how much his behaviors conflict with the ideals of the Catholic church. We get a look into the descriptions of Stephen's behavior, as well as his reactions to Father Arnall's teachings. Based on these reactions, our idea that Stephen is drastically different from the other boys (if we couldn't already tell in earlier chapters) is reinforced. While the other guys don't seem as shaken, Stephen is terrified of his fate and immediately switches his lifestyle around. It is unclear to me as to why this occurs. One can argue that it is because Stephen's sins are more severe than those of his peers, but I think that this is not the case, or even factually true. Instead, I believe that this unique reaction on his part merely reinforces the fact that our protagonist Stephen is an outsider to his society, and still has a long way to go until he can find his role and standing in his environment.

Chapter 2

Well, this chapter was quite depressing and also sadly realistic.

"I am Stephen Dedalus". These are the words that our hero Stephen utters as he becomes a teenager in this section of the novel. The world around Stephen is rapidly falling apart--his family is descending into poverty, he is feeling more alienated from those around him, his rampant sexuality both confuses and intrigues him, and his father is becoming an alcoholic. As all this occurs, I admire Stephen's desperate efforts to solidify his own identity.

A difficult time showered with hormones and novel urges, adolescence seems to be rapidly hitting Stephen in the face. Although many sons find role models in their fathers and other close men, it is a bit difficult for Stephen. His father, Simon Dedalus, cannot seem to support himself or his family, nor can he find a stable relationship. Uncle Charles, originally a kind man, has become crazy and unreliable. Stephen is unhappy with his changing relationship with the world around him, but he is also unhappy with himself.

I believe that the lack of a father figure impacts Stephen quite a lot. Looking at his own father, who flirts with all the barmaids and other girls, his own thoughts on his growing sexuality and lustful desires become muddled. Stephen's love is fascinating. Unlike the love life of normal protagonists in other novels, his love life is incomprehensible, awkward, and filled with tension. Joyce is careful not to set a definition for love, but instead allows Stephen to find his own definition. In short, his love is human.

Throughout all these changes, Stephen is deeply disturbed. How can he juggle this seemingly unsolvable mess of hormones, finances, and passion? The simple answer: he can't. And neither can most (and dare I say all) adolescents. I'd personally like to see Stephen's interests develop more (especially in literature, art, and religion) and how he will find his eventual solace within his life.

Chapter 1

Hey guys, this is a blog containing my thoughts on James Joyce's novel, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. This first post will focus on the book's first chapter, which details the childhood of Stephen, the main character.

Within the first few pages of the novel, I was immediately struck by its odd and childish language and was pressured to read the chapter differently than I normally would. Stephen, as the main character, starts off as a tremendously unreliable narrator. In an act of genius, Joyce chooses to write the novel not in an adult perspective looking backwards, but as a progressive narrative led by Stephen (well, a third person connected to Stephen) as he grows up. This means that this first chapter is narrated by a young boy. Once I realized this fact, the book became more interesting to read, as I could see the development of this child's thought processes and his first experiences with the world.

Admittedly, I did not understand Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf when I first began reading it. The stream of consciousness technique was disorienting and difficult to follow as the narrative leaped between time and space and character and emotion. This first chapter of Joyce's novel (hereby referred to as APOTAAAYM) provided the same difficulty with its stream of consciousness narrative, but in a slightly more understandable manner. While Mrs. Dalloway jumped between characters and flashbacks, APOTAAAYM stays with a single character, making it easier to follow. However, attempting to understand the perspective of the boy Stephen, at least initially, was also difficult.

Leaving the narrative aside, two of the more interesting aspects of this chapter that I found was the development of Stephen's artistic and thoughtful side, as well as his encounter with other people. These two go hand in hand, as his unique nature often causes him to come into conflict with other people. As Stephen grows up, he ponders things such as his role in the world, colors and words, and even death. This thoughtfulness leads him to be confused by what he encounters and alienated from his fellow peers. Stephen's first meal at the "grown-up table" also signifies an important change. It is one of his first real encounters with the adult world and he is immediately met with fights about politics and religion.

This chapter contains too much to be said about morality, growing up in an unfamiliar world, religion, politics, art, loneliness, purpose, punishment, and other deep topics. While it is nearly impossible to encompass all of these in one blog post, it is much easier to understand these topics step by step, learning them slowly by looking at it from the perspective of a child. Overall, APOTAAAYM has forced me to recall my thoughts as a child and revisit old topics from a new (old?) perspective.